Sunday, October 13, 2013

Some catching up to do.

It's been more than a year since I've written here.  I can't believe I've let this go, as much as it means to me to share our lives, love, joy and grief.  Life happens, and it happens fast.  It doesn't seem like it's been so long.  First off, we're all doing fine.  The kids are healthy and happy.  And GROWING.

Aidan turned five in June.  He should have started Kindergarten, but I just felt like he wasn't ready.  He did ok in preschool last year, but he's rocking it so far this year.  He has matured so much, and is actually paying attention and learning, whereas last year he was only there to play.   He has the MOST amazing teacher.  We just love her.  She's a retired elementary teacher and is so good for and with him.  His vocabulary and humor have really exploded.  He has discovered potty humor.  He has learned to see funny in every day things.  He's my amazing  big boy. 

He is also big enough to understand more about death and Landon, and a few weeks ago (this is really why I'm writing tonight, this needs to be told) he had a bad spell.  Sobbing, crying, wanting his brother.  Bargaining with God and me, wanting just one chance to play with his brother.  It kind of came out of nowhere, although I'm pretty sure I know what triggered it.  We have to drive through the cemetery where Landon is buriedto get to Aidan's school.  Larry took him to school one day and he saw someone being buried.  On the way home, I had picked him up and he asked about that.  Asked if we put Landon's body in a hole.  And how he's in the ground if he went to Heaven.  I did my best to explain, the whole time praying for guidance, that Landon's old body is buried but his spirit went to heaven and now he has a perfect new body and his brain isn't sick anymore.  I told him that Jesus saw him hurting and so sick and He loved Landon so much that he didn't want him to hurt anymore and  let him go to Heaven where he's been healed. 

Later that night we found him sitting on his bed sobbing and so upset, holding a picture I had photoshopped of him and Landon together.  He just kept saying "I want my brother. I miss him.  It's not fair!"   Sounds familiar.  That's the thought that runs a continuous loop through my mind when all is quiet and I let my mind wander. 

He drew his own copy of that picture and we framed it and hung it on his wall.

Aidan is quite the little detail-oriented drawer.  He makes me so proud in so many ways.  He's so kind and sweet and caring.  He would never do anything purposely that would hurt anyone.  He can be mean, but never in a malicious way.   

The girls are hilarious.  They've definitely brought a world of laughter to our family.  They're so special and I love them so much.  They're getting so big.  Bekah is talking like a grown up, and Gracie isn't far behind.  Aidan didn't talk til he was nearly three, so it's so strange to me, to have two year olds who can talk.  And sing.  They love music and singing.  They're really hung up on The Learning Station videos on YouTube.  If you've never heard of The Learning Station,  look them up.  Their songs and videos entertain my kids like nothing else, and they're not annoying like some other kids programming.

Here are a few updated pictures of the kiddoes.  I really hope that I can get back into the habit of writing here.  I love feedback and I love sharing these little miracles.