Thursday, November 24, 2011


Happy Thanksgiving!  Today is a day to be thankful, but I'm thankful every single day of my life.  I am so blessed, and I know it.  But, since today's Thanksgiving Day, I'll try to put into words how thankful I am.

I am thankful for my personal freedoms. I'm thankful that I am free to love God, free to speak of Him.  I'm thankful that He sent His son here to die for our sins.  Thankful that through that, I will see my Landon, my Popaw, all those who've believed in Him and gone on before. 

I am thankful for my health.  I'm not in the best shape, but I intend to do something about it. I'm thankful for the YMCA membership that will help me do that, if I'll just start using it.  I am thankful that my body allowed me to carry the four most beautiful children I've ever seen.  I get angry that it failed me with Landon, but I'm still thankful for the wonders it has given me.

I'm thankful for my Mom.  She is, and has always been, my biggest cheerleader.  She would drop everything in a heartbeat if I needed her to.  She loves me, Larry, and our kids unconditionally.

I'm thankful to still have my Momaw Ardilla in my life.  She's 76 years old, and still comes over here to fold my laundry sometimes, or to sit with my kids if I need her to.  She's the strongest woman I know, and I thank God every day for her.  She lost her mother and husband within 4 and 1/2 months of each other back in 2001.  She has lost a grandchild to stillbirth, and she watched the devastation of Landon's life and death.  And still keeps going. 

I'm thankful for Larry.  After a horrible marriage and a string of bad boyfriends, meeting a true Good Guy was a blessing in itself.  Having him fall in love with me, marry me, give me my beautiful children,  was a miracle.  He works so hard for our familly, he works to allow me to stay home with our kids.  I'm sad that he has never had Thanksgiving day off since we became parents.  Aidan has never had Thanksgiving (Or Christmas, for that matter) dinner with his daddy, and now the girls are following suit.  But on a positive note,  he will make enough money on Thanksgiving and Black Friday to totally pay for our entire Christmas.  I  love him with all I have in me.

I'm thankful for Aidan Henry.  My funny little monkey boy.  The child who made me a Mommy.  He's so sweet, smart, stubborn, and pretty.  His personality and humor are a constant source of joy.  I'm thankful that he finally started talking, thankful that he's finally showing interest in learning colors, shapes and numbers.  He's the most amazing, sweet, generous big brother I've ever seen.  He loves those girls so much. I'm thankful for that. He is the answer to a whole lot of prayers. 

I'm thankful for Landon James.  Even though my time with him was brief, I love him so much. I miss him, his death hurt me more than anything in the world ever has.,  but I'm still so thankful that he's mine, that I was the mom who was lucky enough to hold him for two weeks, to love him for eternity. He's the one who taught me that a mother's love knows no bounds, not even death could put a damper on the love I have for my littlest son.

I'm thankful for Rebekah Maxine. My spirited little peanut.  She's so funny, so determined.  I can already tell that she's going to be a persistant child.  When she wants something, she does what she has to to get it.  She's not exactly crawling yet, but she's fully mobile.  We put our Christmas tree up on Sunday, and I've already had to pull her out from behind it several times.  She has the best, greatest, laugh, and I love nothing more than hearing it! She's ticklish, and I can make her squeal by just pretending like I'm going to tickle her.  My first little Rainbow baby, I love you.

I'm thankful for Grace Nichole. My little Miss Congeniality.  She's silly, and she loves attention.  She "dances" and tries so hard to clap her hands.  She does silly little things, then watches me to see if I'll laugh or applaud her.  She is so sweet.  She loves kisses and huggs and cuddles.  Rebekah started out as a die-hard Mama's girl, but now Gracie is the one that's all about Mommy.  Don't get me wrong, Bekah still would rather have me than anyone else, but she does better than Gracie with other holding her.  Gracie has the sweetest smile.  I live for seeing those!!

I'm thankful for a good relationship with my brother and his little family. I'm crazy over my niece and nephew.  I have a good sister in law. 

See, told you I"m super blessed.  There's so much more, but I've got a child yelling for his "pants on", a tray of butterfinger bars to dip, three kids to dress for Thanksgiving dinner, bags to pack up, shoes to locate, I'm sure anyone with kids understands all of this.  I hope each and every one of you who read this, the happiest and most blessed Thanksgiving possible.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Five Christmases Ago

I want to tell about the last five Christmases, starting with Christmas of 2006.  I am going to make each a separate post, but may post one or two on the same day.  Or maybe not, it just depends on how much typing time I have.

Five Christmases ago, I was 29, soon to be 30..going on 22, I think. I was all about having a good time.  I had a somewhat steady boyfriend.  He was nice, but odd, and I knew he wasn't the one for me. I won't say a whole lot more about him other than that.  I knew it wasn't going to work out, but he was a good companion.

I wanted a husband and kids so badly.  Every shooting star, every birthday candle, every 11:11 on the clock, I had the same wish. 

My brother and sister in law had JUST found out they were expecting my nephew, and my very close first cousin was due in February with her little boy.  I am the oldest grandchild, but all the younger ones were having babies, starting families, and I was stuck in a dead end relationship. 

Between the time my Sister in law found out she was pregnant and Christmas Eve, I got busy and crocheted a white afghan for my soon to be nephew. (Of course we didn't know he was a nephew then, thus the white afghan!)  I was happy for them, but so sad for myself. And jealous. 

I bought a baby ornament to hang on my mom's tree, to honor the baby-yet-to-come.  I wanted so badly to hang one to commemorate a child of my own.  It was a happy time, but a sad time, too.

I will be honest.  I was green with envy. 

We had our traditional Christmas Eve dinner and gifts at my mom's (where I was living at the time).  My ex boyfriend came to eat with us.  He went home, my brother and sister in law went home, and I went to bed sad, but prayed for something to be different by the next Christmas.

Things started changing.  By Valentine's day, I was through with the boyfriend, but hadn't' told him yet.  By Easter, it was completely done.  By June I had met Larry, and, well, by September, there was a little baby boy growing in my tummy.

That's the end of the story of Five Christmases ago.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Halloween pictures and a new blog

I've started a new blog to write about more of the everyday stuff that happens around here.  If you're interested, it's here:

Feel free to check it out.   This one is my first love, though.

Halloween was so much fun this year. The past two have been pretty bittersweet for me.  The first one after Landon was the first big holiday without him, the first kid-centered holiday where I was missing a kid.  Shopping for Aidan's costume that year was pretty hard, to say the least.  "I should be buying two" was a mantra that repeated in my head from the end of August until Halloween night.  Actually, that chant repeated all through the holiday season.  I only got to buy one costume, one Thanksgiving outfit, one set of Christmas presents, one set of stocking stuffers. 

Having an only child isn't so bad, unless there was ever a period of time where you had more than one.  Then it sucks.  All the "should haves" and "Should be doings". 

The following year, last year, was still pretty sad, but easier to handle.  For one thing, I had a full year's worth of holidays, should haves, wish I could'ves, under my belt.  For another, I was about 3 months pregnant with the girls, looked and felt about 6 months pregnant.  I had something that was lacking the year before,  HOPE.  Not a lot of it, I never dreamed that I would have two perfectly healthy babies.  But enough hope to make life just a little easier.  Also, by last year, Aidan was over 2, and had such a funny personality.  He never let me stay too down for too long. 

So, this year, I have my rainbows. 

When I was a little girl (I think I've told this before)  the only toys I ever cared anything about were baby dolls.  Not even Barbies,  just baby dolls.  I took care of them. I changed their clothes and diapers.  I "fed" them.  I swaddled them.  All I wanted was to be a mommy.  I got a Cabbage Patch Kid that year when people were fighting over them. I still don't know the story about how my parents managed that, but I do remember hearing that there was nearly a fistfight over my sweet Jesse Eleanor.

Later that school year, I got Lombardo Anson as a reward for an awesome report card.  Then for my next birthday I got Margie Ellie.  Then the following Christmas, good ol' Saint Nick left a set of red headed CABBAGE PATCH TWINS under my tree!  I was in CPK heaven.  I can't remember their names, but they had red ponytails, and were wearing teal satin dresses.  Oh, how I loved my "PaPatch Kids" (as a younger cousin called them.)

So, with all that back story, here are the pictures from our 2011 halloween party and Trick or Treating.

Not the best picture, but it's from the party Saturday night

Aidan, ready to go get treats!

My very own, real live red(well, reddish) ponytailed CPK twins!!!

After Trick or Treating,  it wiped my babies OUT!! They were the hit of the neighborhood.  People I'd never met before were asking to take pictures of their costume.  One older man kept yelling to other neighbors, "Wait til you see this! It's the best one this year!"

So, this year was definitely a better Halloween, and we're gearing up for a Happier Thanksgiving and a Merrier Christmas.  I'll always have sad moments, especially through the holidays,  and I'm ok with that, because I'll also always have the joy of the 3 kids that I got to keep!  These kids are my very reason for being, I love each of them so, so much.  Thank you, God. I'm blessed.